THE POEM THAT CAN FORGET BUT NOT FORGIVE
This poem is afraid
because I am afraid.
This poem is always cold,
and shivering, making my teeth clatter
like cheap tin tableware
on a bare plate.
This poem wants to die,
and be rescued too late
to regret it.
This poem has been all its life scared,
and still is: scared, trembling
on the brink, trembling,
knowing the truth that lies
beyond the lies
told over and over,
though it has never been taken in.
This poem has a voice
small, smoke-rasped, hungry,
and it has much to say
about what really happened
when no one else was there
to stand to protest.
This time it wants to be heard.
This poem wants to be heard!
It will spit and curse and claw
out bejesus if it has to,
this poem means to be heard!
This poem will tattle-tale
sit back and smile smugly.
This poem will wring satisfaction’s neck
and revenge will taste like chocolate.
This poem is sad as water, poor as sand.
This poem wants to live well,
but it doesn’t know how.
© Pamela Spiro Wagner, 2009 (from WE MAD CLIMB SHAKY LADDERS, CavanKerry Press, Fort Lee, NJ)
I may have posted this before but it is especially relevant at the moment because i have been mute for more than 6 weeks now and do not know why it has lasted or what to do about it…
WAGblog: Dum Spiro Spero 
Yes, and so many people in Vermont have been so kind to me, told me not to worry that it is FINE…No one has pressured me or been unkind. It is really quite a breath of fresh air…Lovely people here. Pam
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Isn’t it a blessing to have the electronic world? Your voice is coming through loud and clear. 🙂
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Thank you!
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My youtube channel is http://youtube.com/designsbyvennie – most of my songs are originals so i dont put a lot out there – there’s also http://reverbnation.com/venniekocsis
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Yes, Yes! Ditto in spades…Your site is amazing. and by the way, I came across one of your videos of you singing, which I wanted to “Like” as it was just lovely, but somehow I could not do os, and was unable to find it again…IS there a search term I could use to find your singing anywhere? I just loved it. You are so free and so enviably open..Beautiful songs and singing!
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Thank you. It’s always comforting to connect with people who get it. 💖
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Thank you, Sami. I look forward to hearing from you. I was worried that I had lost your friendship after that crisis…I thought maybe I was too much for you…So Sorry…Pam
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Thaank you so much, Shannon. And I wish for you a creative burst of energy and the realization that it isn’t time that limits you but you, that you need to understand you ARE a creative individual with a lovely creative mind and get to work with a journal that tells you so every day. Get a stack of magazines and cut out pictures to accompany your entries with inspiring pictures and quotes, collage them together in unusual or interesting ways. Look at how people use collage because that is one art form that is open to all, even those who cannot draw or paint…Look up Jo Freehand’s site or some of my other followers…I wish I could think of their names, but one, Manja I think her name is, does just amazing collages. If you hover over the names you might find it and then you could visit her site and see what I mean. Jo Freehand’s site too is amazing for collage. And Fig something too…The point is, even if you prefer to write, adding some visual interest to your journal would delight the eye and make you feel like an artist and be a real spur to your creativity. (Actually, I am going to get those sites for you and sent you a message by Linked In so you won’t have to do the work yourself. ) My very Best wishes for a great T-day and WRITE ON and CREATE DAILY! Love ya, Pam
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Thank you, Carole. Thank you…I do get some sounds out when I try to sing when alone, so that is a good sign. But they are few and far between.
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Yeah, I understand why, having seen so much on your blog…Thank you! Pam
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Pam, your voice is so poignant and powerful even without words – but I hope they find you soon. If possible, I wish for you a wonderful Thanksgiving, and I am thankful for you.
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Pam, speak to the wind in quiet whispers. The wind is a force without physical manifestation. We see its effect, much like you. Gravity is also a force. Unmanifested, yet exceedingly powerful.
Speak to a mirror without sound and observe the steam patterns on the glass and know that your voice has not disappeared, it is simply choosing new and creative ways to wait until it is ready to be reborn. Carole.
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When you read something and Get It! This. This is that poem. 💐
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Another wonderful poem sincere and full of honesty. I miss you friend. I will email you soon a long letter. Thank you for keeping posting.
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Thank you for your comments, both Marie and Kyra….I am trying to speak aloud, but in the meantime I will speak in other ways.
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oh Pammy, so sorry to read that the speech catatonia is still there! really hope something is found to help there!
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This is really powerful–you have such a gift with words. Thank you for sharing your voice.
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