Pamwagg’s Art from the Wonderful “Care Bed” in Northeast Kingdom, Vermont

BioHazard Head and Face with Bugs...first drawing done at Care Bed in St Johnsbury Vt in Nov 2014 by Pamela Spiro Wagner
BioHazard Head and Face with Bugs…first drawing done at Care Bed in St Johnsbury Vt in Nov 2014 by Pamela Spiro Wagner


Silent Scream by Pamela Spiro Wagner, 11/2014
Silent Scream by Pamela Spiro Wagner, 11/2014 Drawing # 2


Fist Protesting Restraints
Fist Protesting Restraints Drawing #3 (restraints would NEVER be used at Care Bed)


Listen Up Collage -- A message more than art.
Listen Up! Free Your Soul! Collage — More a message about my treatment in Connecticut hospitals (never at Care Bed!) than “art” (#4)


Rocking Chair at VT "Care Bed"
Rocking Chair at VT “Care Bed” Drawing #5


Care Bed Living Room with bedroom in background
Care Bed Living Room with bedroom in background (at night) Drawing #6


Mischief and Kitten among Ornaments!
Mischief and Kitten among Ornaments! Drawing #7

12 thoughts on “Pamwagg’s Art from the Wonderful “Care Bed” in Northeast Kingdom, Vermont”

  1. I’m just overwhelmed with relief right now. I too was afraid that something bad had happened to you. The art is beautiful. The care bed living room and kitten among ornaments were drawn with so much detail that I felt I could instantly recognize those things from your drawing if I saw them in person.


  2. Neighsayer, Marie and Alaina, yeah, it is funny how many people even at Care Bed said to me, “I feel like that sometimes” about the Silent Scream picture…It might not be the most technically proficient picture, but even I felt that it somehow best expressed my feelings at a gut level.

    Alaina, yes, no matter how often I have screamed my lungs out in a hospital, it is never enough to “get it out of me.” Believe me, I have had ample opportunity to try. But no matter how often it is never enough; screaming it out doesn’t work. You cannot primal scream your way to peace, not in my experience, at least not alone and not simply by screaming. I do not know anything about “Primal Scream”-as-therapy and maybe they do something with that that is different from simply “screaming it out.” Maybe this does “work.” I dunno. But as you and I have learned, screaming things out by oneself alone just earns a sore throat and hoarse voice, and sometimes the enmity/concern of neighbors (and/or hospital personnel.)

    Not worth it, except to learn the lesson about NOT screaming things out!

    Love to all my caring, concerned supporters. Thank you for being there and waiting and watching for me. I was unable to use electronic devices or even text on a mobile phone this past week or so, and I am still unable to talk, so I could not contact anyone or do much to reassure you. Thank you anyway for hanging in there.

    By the way, A BIG PUBLIC THANK YOU to Carole for figuring out how to find out where I was and reassure everyone here I was okay!




  3. Oh yes, what you said about worry driving people away — this has happened to me, too. Which is why I made a point of saying what I did. You see, I have been there, in utterly overwhelming despair, panic, pain, desperation, in such misery that I literally could not bear it, could not contain it, I had to let it out, like a scream. Then having “friends” and “family” turn away in disgust because my scream hurt their ears, metaphorically speaking.


  4. I meant to be in bed asleep by now but just had to check here one more time tonight, for the sheer joy of seeing your latest post and pictures.

    Like neighsayer, I like the scream best. I often feel that I have a scream that looks just like that, frozen inside me. Once, years ago, I got the bright idea to drive far out in the country on an isolated road and scream to my heart’s content. Thought I would get it out of my system that way. But all I got was a very hoarse throat that lasted for days. 🙂


  5. Sweet Pammy,

    yes these pictures reassure me so very much! I was so worried especially after your last post! Your emails had made me feel close although I could sense the anxiety and nervouseness of the vermont move building up, amidst the ‘pressure’ to stay in Connect! I am glad you are in that facility and are cool enough!
    loads of love and kind wishes,
    Marie – am yet to move but it’s closser now by just 2 weeks and I am equally nervous, anxious and yet excited! Hope to get an email again sometime


  6. A lot of people — this same worry just drives them away, alas. It has happened often, so thank you if you can handle it. I appreciate it enormously. After all, it is MY life and you seem to know that, and can tell my pain from yours…Other people can’t seem to separate the two or end up blaming me for causing them pain. I dunno. Maybe I just feel guilty for everything but I have lost people for that reason, I know it!


  7. I just sorted through and cleared out my email box, it was very full indeed. I have a hard time keeping up with things. I did not see your latest email yet, I will look for it now. Yes I am reassured… I have been so worried about you!! But that is OK, that is what friends are for. It helps me to know there are a few people in the world who worry when I am not doing well. I hope it helps you, too.


  8. Hi Alaina, I did email you, but alas, I found that your email is likely very full so you probably have not seen it yet. when you do you will find out much more than these pictures tell you. and I will post more soon too, but for now, I hope they reassure you… Love you. XOXOXOXO


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