The night before my sister, my identical twin sister died, I had an extremely vivid dream about her, rare for its vividness as much as for the fact that I do not remember when I last dreamed about her.
The dream was as follows: I was in a mute state and unable apparently to function as the world would have wanted me to, and I remember Lynnie was there, but not talking to me but to some functionary who wanted her to sign some papers for me essentially taking over my care and becoming in charge of my life. The word dementia was thrown about, and I remember thinking that even if I screamed I could not get it across to her or to anyone that I was NOT in the midst of dementia, but simply caught in some state that made it impossible for me to communicate with them. Much happened that struck me even then as unnecessary because I knew I was conscious but simply did not know how to bridge the gulf to Lynnie and the other person that I was still in there…some time later, I discovered that soya products had been missing from my diet and that once these elements of plant bas3d life were replaced I would be able to come out of my state of apparent suspended animation and live again. Instead, it seemed that no one believed me, or could even hear me say, I’m fine, I’m here, I just had a soya deficiency which is now replenished. I don’t need a Lynnie to take charge or be my conservator.
I woke, Not from a sweat drenched nightmare, but nevertheless feeling uneasy and struck by the first two facts, that I had dreamed extremely vividly, remembered the dream, and that Lynnie played a huge role…I did not think too much about this the rest of the day, until Chip called with news that Lynnie had died, suddenly and unexpectedly, that afternoon. Then I remembered the dream, and how strange it was that she had appeared to me so concretely and vividly just the night before. Was she telling me something?
Click on each picture below to see title, if caption missing.
(mostly photos from our childhood. )
2 thoughts on “Carolyn Spiro Silvestri MD was my twin sister…how I miss her!”
Dear Lady Linda, thank you so much for these words and for sharing your own story. It was so bizarre…then I had another dream just the other night that was nearly but not quite a nightmare…I woke saying I wanted to write it down but it vanished almost before I could write anything. All I remember is that my twin or “someone who looked like her” had been killed, murdered, and I felt guilty for it. I was hiding in our family home basement, fearful of telling her and weeping.
Strange and I have some thoughts on this but for now have to go out so I will share at another time. I am writing journal letters to Lynnie in French, but I really do not believe she is gone, it is all just a big joke! It feels like if at any rate.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your unusual and vivid dream about your sister, in the hours before her death, is amazing.
I don’t doubt that you had this dream, because I have had similar things happen around the death of a loved one. When I was 13 years old, I was sitting in school listening to the teacher drone on, when suddenly I knew that my paternal grandfather had just died. The feeling was so strong, I asked to be excused so I could go to the restroom and cry.
When I got home from school that day, my mother met me at the door and said “I have some bad news for you.” I put my hand up to stop her. “I already know,” I said. “My grandfather died today.”
“How did you know?” my mom asked me.
“I don’t know how, I just know.” It was the only explanation that I had!
My grandfather was only in his fifties. Nobody had told me that he was terminally ill, so I wasn’t expecting him to die. It truly is a mystery, how I could have known the moment that he died. He was in California, I was in Missouri. But there seems to be no distance or time in the spiritual realm.
Phoebe, here is my guess about the meaning of your dream: your sister realized that she was going to die, and she was worried about leaving you — worried that, in the years ahead, you might need her here, to take care of you. Her worry about needing to stay alive, to be available for you if you ever needed her, was strong enough to somehow reach out to you in your dream.
I know that my grandfather was worried about me around the time that he died, for reasons I won’t go into now. I believe he did not want to die and leave me unprotected. And somehow, his worry communicated itself to me, as he was dying.
LIfe and death is an amazing mystery, isn’t it?
These pictures are wonderful, Phoebe.